can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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