Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Randomize
