I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
