I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
