And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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