he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
