I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
