At least make sure they are 18
Why
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
