Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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