Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
