I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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