Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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