if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
