My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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