Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
