dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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