im holly from the hills drunk
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
