Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
