btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
she woke up with a sticky ear
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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