If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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