You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
