all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
