Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
