Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
