Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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