Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
