Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
nutella sex= disaster
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
