he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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