If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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