some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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