I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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