Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
