so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Randomize
