I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
