Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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