Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
