My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
