"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
