she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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