fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
