Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
