so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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