We're facebook friends in real life
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
