everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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