a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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