he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Enjoy the penises
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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