i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
