the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
