I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
