whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
